Today I meant to start this goddamn blog. That stupid title was all I've come up with so far. In any case, I'll introduce myself..my name is Dan West...and I hate you. I also wish to inform you that none of you will be happy. This handy bit of info has come to you courtesy of a nasty-tempered witch from the film : "Santa Visits The Magic Land of Mother Goose"...directed by Mr. Herschell Gordon Lewis (Blood Feast, Two Thousand Maniacs!, The Wizard of Gore, The Gore Gore Girls, etc.)...it isn't so much a "film" as it is a "play that has been filmed"...therefore, Herschell Gordon Lewis didn't so much direct the picture as he did photograph it for the play's producer who no doubt figured "Hell...if kids will sit through this thing on stage...I could make a killing on the silver screen!"...and a killing they do make...by killing you VERY slowly with boredom. Unless the unfortunate children who saw this celluloid turd in 1967 had been labotomized or heavily sedated they must have been squriming in the aisles or ripping their crew cuts and pigtails out by the roots.
Now don't get me wrong...I L-O-V-E Herschell Gordon Lewis. And I would proudly torture my family with this film during the yule tide season...after all..it has a witch who says "I hate you! And none of you will be happy!"....Actually, having never seen the film but only read about it...I'm simply going on blind assumption here...I may be misquoting said witch and just assuming the film is boring...but hey...this is the interweb! I can lie and make blind assumtions all I want without repercussions! That's what blogs are for! Aren't they? Well, Mister or Mame(! ),that's what this one's for, you fucker! So take that and put it into some type of pipe or rolling paper and then light it with a match or hilarious novelty lighter and attempt to smoke it...'cause, cousin I can do no wrong here...and if ya'lls don't like that I got three words for you : "Chucky did it"...my standard answer to all questions when not being held at gunpoint or having my testicles electrocuted.
Where was I going with all of this? Absolutley nowhere! Aren't you glad you came????
