Dear diary,
I awoke this morning after my stint in the deprivation chamber to find everyone in my neighborhood now sporting shiny plastic bowler hats, the type that you only find at Walgreen's during the Halloween season. Now afraid to go outside as they will all know that I am not one of "them". Got odd stares through my living room window during routine observation period...heard one elderly neighbor mumble, "Arbitrary...unsatisfactory...disproportionate" as she pointed at my un-hatted visage in the window. Perhaps it is now truly time to arm myself to the teeth. God help us all.
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