Adult Big Sex Mouth With Hair

There's nothing quite as awe-inspiring or hilarious to me as a really shitty Halloween mask. Mexico produces some of the very worst....and I think this little baby may have crept over the border with a few of its retarded-looking brethren. Ladies and gentleman, I give you the "Adult Big Sex Mouth Halloween Mask With Hair" (?????). That is what this monstrosity is called on the website I found it on. What the fuck does that even mean? Adult Big Sex Mouth Halloween Mask with Hair? This looks like someone who's been run over several times with an automobile.

http://www.last.fm/group/Janet+Weiss+Is+Hot

And she truly is...

http://www.last.fm/group/Janet+Weiss+Is+Hot

Happy Halloween!

Gee, there's just something life-affirming about this photo.

Grandma's got the clap! Again!

These were my final Craig's List Personals posts :




I'm tired of making love to inflatable chicks! Let's get it on! - 39 (castro / upper market)
Date: 2009-10-06, 1:59PM PDT

Hey ladies, I have the recipe for sex that you have been seeking :



1/2 cup of sensuality



2/3 tea spoon of intelligence



1 tablespoon of handsome



3 cups of cool



4 cans of creamed corn



one sheet of blotter acid



2, 40 ounce bottles of Country Club Malt Liquor



I cup candy corn



2 table spoons of I Can't Believe it's Not Butter!



5 pairs of edible underwear



6 gummy worms



1 box of adult diapers



the ability to breathe under water like Aqua Man



2 pairs of Frankenstein's monster boots



3 pounds of badger meat



1 dash of Mrs Dash



3 cans of moustache wax

Sensual sexy surgical glove boob massage from Arnie Jergens - 37 (nob hill)
Date: 2009-10-06, 1:34PM PDT

Hey all you sexy ladies! Arnie's here to provide you with my patented sexy, sensual, surgical glove boob massage. I have the salad oil and the magic fingers to send you somewhere over the rainbow! Lay back on my autopsy table and enjoy the sensual stylings of Arnie's magical digits. I'm like a master pianist, but I play the boobs instead of the piano. Give your boobs the professional "Arnie Touch" (copyright 2009). This time I will even wear pants! Let's nail down a time when my mother isn't home so we won't be interrupted! She does church bingo on Wednesday nights, so that's the best time for Arnie!

Eat Shit September! October is Finally Here!

Now begins my sacred month of horror film viewing. To welcome the month of October I'm posting one of my favorite images from the Hammer Films Dracula series. Anouska Hempel in all her drop-dead-gorgeous glory.

You Can Be a Garbage Pail Kid!

My friend Ken sent this to me this morning. It is a police sketch artist's rendering of a stabbing suspect. Apparently the perpetrator's parents were both Garbage Pail Kids.

Seagal Versus Satan

My new masterwork. Originally this was painted for my series of hideous, fake, Mexican pulp novel covers, but it just didn't seem to fit in with its friends from south of the border. Now it stands proudly on its own, basking in its own horrible glory.