Who doesn't find Herman Munster sexually attractive?

Since I am now editing my book I will neglect this blog like a despised stepchild who cowers under a staircase for fear of another severe beating from The Nazi Clown Daddy Cult Leader! Bad Bobby! You get hit now! However for anyone who reads this ridiculous collection of crap I will post my Craig's list personal ads that I seem to provide on a crack addiction-like basis. Here are my charming posts for this week:

Wine, Cuddling, Duct Tape, Package Of Hot Dogs, Herman Munster Mask - 37 (haight ashbury)
Reply to: mailto:pers-919269131@craigslist.org?subject=Wine,%20Cuddling,%20Duct%20Tape,%20Package%20Of%20Hot%20Dogs,%20Herman%20Munster%20Mask%20-%2037%20(haight%20ashbury) [?]Date: 2008-11-14, 1:22PM PST

Hey there all you sassy, sexy ladies! Bobby boy is lookin' fer love! Love and perhaps a nice sack of onions to beat my sex clown with. His name is Toot Toot. Toot Toot the sex clown. His horn goes "honk honk" when I touch your boobs! Just like in that movie with Matt Damon as the Hilary Clinton impersonator! Do you like pudding? Boy boy sure likes it! It's practically all I eat! That's why I have these delightful removable teeth! It's like a super power! Magic teeth Come out of skull NOW! Poof! Just like a David Copperfield illusion but with my teeth!


Bad Boy Can't Be Tamed, But Can Be Run Over And Killed With Car - 36 (potrero hill)
Reply to: mailto:pers-919288344@craigslist.org?subject=Bad%20Boy%20Can [?]Date: 2008-11-14, 1:36PM PST

Yo Yo Yo Pookie! WAZZZZZZZZAAAPPPPP?????! It's Ralphie the baby doll juggler and green party presidential candidate! Ralphie is afraid of scary ghosts, but loves him some hot ladies in the sack, Jackson! WOOOOOOOO!!!!! Ralphie likes to buy ladies special gifts from the underwear store! Don't mind Ralphie's hunchback....it's not really even his...he followed Ralphie home one night and Ralphie gave him some delicious chocolate chip cookies. Ralphie is very talented sexually and artistically...look he just painted a nice painting of a young and handsome Burt Reynolds as he appeared in the film "Gator"! Come share a blanket with Ralphie


Let's Have Beers And Vomit On Each Other During Sex! - 35 (castro / upper market)
Reply to: mailto:pers-919310907@craigslist.org?subject=Let [?]Date: 2008-11-14, 1:51PM PST

Hello there. My Name is Bradford Wallace. I am a successful importer of fine, Chinese dragon bongs. I am recently divorced from my evil shrew of a bitch wife..may she rot in Hell for eternity while hoards of demons shove bowling trophies up her pimpled ass! Whore!...Anyway...lets say the wounds are still festering like burst, puss-oozing boils. I am an attractive single man looking to pamper a young, beautiful girl dressed in a catholic school girl outfit. I will spank your supple bottom while wearing my plastic crown and rubber Jimmy Durante nose..."AAAAAHHH Cha cha cha! I got a million of 'em!". My great Jimmy Durante impression probably fails to translate in type...but I assure you it is quite authentic...everyone in the mail room at my import company finds it to be quite the laugh riot.

I am afraid of certain types of fish and like blueberries on my pancakes, FYI.



New to The City, Like To Dress Like Carol Channing, Nurse Breasts - 37 (west portal / forest hill)
Reply to: mailto:pers-919324953@craigslist.org?subject=New%20to%20The%20City,%20Like%20To%20Dress%20Like%20Carol%20Channing,%20Nurse%20Breasts%20-%2037%20(west%20portal%20/%20forest%20hill) [?]Date: 2008-11-14, 2:01PM PST

Hey let's get together and watch my new DVD of "The Care Bears Movie". We'll dress in pajamas and have a pillow fight...but we'll put bricks inside the pillow cases so they'll actually hurt! We'll pop up some popcorn and wear aluminum foil hats to keep the weird voices away. You can tie me to a chair and punch me in the face while I do things to myself with mustard. Then I'll call you "The Great Poontang Warrior Princess"! God we're going to have fun , baby! I've got this weird-looking elf doll I can shove up your butt while you sing "Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead"!



Gynecologist In Clown Nose Nicknames Self Snatch Adams - 38 (financial district)
Reply to: mailto:pers-919529273@craigslist.org?subject=Gynecologist%20In%20Clown%20Nose%20Nicknames%20Self%20Snatch%20Adams%20-%2038%20(financial%20district) [?]Date: 2008-11-14, 4:43PM PST

Hoo ha! Honk Honk! Show me the funny! Ho ho ho ho...hee hee hee hee! I'm a funny gynecologist clown! Woooo wooooo! How 'bout a little sexual healing from Dr. Adams?! Woo woo woo! Nyuck nyuck! Look I'm riding a unicycle around the examination room! Woooooo! Beep beep!



Distinguished, Tasteful Gentleman Seeks Female Fart Machine - 42 (downtown / civic / van ness)
Reply to: mailto:pers-919541983@craigslist.org?subject=Distinguished,%20Tasteful%20Gentleman%20Seeks%20Female%20Fart%20Machine%20-%2042%20(downtown%20/%20civic%20/%20van%20ness) [?]Date: 2008-11-14, 4:56PM PST

William Jameson III is seeking that special naughty someone...the kind of someone who likes to dress up like a wizard and throw knives at me while I hang upside down in my vampire bat costume! The sky's the limit, Baby! We'll make sandwiches with live scorpions in them and force feed each other! We'll smoke corn cob pipes and wear hillbilly costumes during sex!

Polyamorous Ice Cream Men seeks Female Sex Giant - 35 (hayes valley)
Reply to: mailto:pers-919622218@craigslist.org?subject=Polyamorous%20Ice%20Cream%20Men%20seeks%20Female%20Sex%20Giant%20-%2035%20(hayes%20valley) [?]Date: 2008-11-14, 6:13PM PST

Jackie the ice cream man likes 'em tall! Like Frankenstein's monster tall. Needless to say we can share all of the delicious ice cream you desire...in all the flavors of the rainbow! Even rainbow flavor! You should try a double dip covered with plastic ants! Woo Doggie thems good eats! Or a triple pop double chocolate deluxe space bar with a plastic cockroach in the center. Do you like rubber snakes? I like to braid them into my filthy dreadlocks. I'm a little weird but really sexy! Sexy like a fox! Or like Sandy Duncan in those old Triscuits commercials...man what a babe! Lets eat some ice cream and screw, you big beautiful vision of Jack And The Beanstalk sexiness! In fact I even have a fake beanstalk in my bedroom that I like to climb before delightfully delicious, melted ice cream-soaked sexual intercourse


Paco Having Many Sex With Doll Shaped Like Rubber Lady! - 36 (mission district)
Reply to: mailto:pers-919633885@craigslist.org?subject=Paco%20Having%20Many%20Sex%20With%20Doll%20Shaped%20Like%20Rubber%20Lady!%20-%2036%20(mission%20district) [?]Date: 2008-11-14, 6:26PM PST

Paco having many practice with inflatable lady of rubber for to practice for many sex with all the sexist ladies! Paco practicing many positions of love for the cha cha cha of making sex with beautiful ladies of love! Paco preparing himself for to be champion of sex for many hours of making love juice with sexist ladies of love! Paco thinks he may have invented new position with rubber lady for to try with real woman not made of rubber! Produce many organisms in new position of love! Paco very happy he may win trophy wife of sex with Paco after many practice with rubber lady of sex!