Alan And Karl are ready to have sex with ladies now! - 37 (lower nob hill)
Reply to: mailto:pers-909906813@craigslist.org?subject=Alan%20And%20Karl%20are%20ready%20to%20have%20sex%20with%20ladies%20now!%20-%2037%20(lower%20nob%20hill) [?]Date: 2008-11-07, 1:21PM PST
Hello sexy ladies! My brother and I have finally decided it was time to leave the sideshow and hop in the sack with some foxy babes! Karl and I are twice the package of any "normally-shaped" man. And Karl is quite the sex machine once he gets warmed up with smelling salts and sugar. I'm the more tender and sensitive of the two...literally...my skin is tender and sensitive due to a rare condition and I break out in a horrible rash if mishandled, so my half of the love making with require a soft touch. Though we share a spine, we are both "anatomically correct"...well...sort of...I mean we both have sexual organs. So if you're up for a unique experience...why not try Karl and Alan?!
Man in Burger King Mask wants to give you his Whopper - 35 (financial district)
Reply to: mailto:pers-909920985@craigslist.org?subject=Man%20in%20Burger%20King%20Mask%20wants%20to%20give%20you%20his%20Whopper%20-%2035%20(financial%20district) [?]Date: 2008-11-07, 1:34PM PST
Man I loves the ladies! They call me "The King"...and for a very good reason...I wear a plastic Burger King Mask...all the time...that's where my nickname comes from. It's hard to see out of but it hides my acne and the "dental mishap". I am ALL MAN! literally...if you took a blood sample or tissue sample I could verify this fact. I want to make sweet love you you with my real body and over-sized plastic head. Afterwards we can watch my favorite film "Snow White and the Three Stooges" and order a pizza. I'm really flexible...almost like a rubber man...like the guy from Fantastic Four....or that old cartoon, "Plastic Man".
Paco buy Chevy Van Of Love for making sex on bed of water! - 36 (mission district)
Reply to: mailto:pers-909934554@craigslist.org?subject=Paco%20buy%20Chevy%20Van%20Of%20Love%20for%20making%20sex%20on%20bed%20of%20water!%20%20-%2036%20(mission%20district) [?]Date: 2008-11-07, 1:43PM PST
Paco has bought for the new Chevy Van of Love for to making sex on bed of Water! Paco's Bed Of water is soft like skin and making for love to all the sexist ladies. Many shag carpet and tiger skin in Paco's Chevy Van Of Love for the ladies to lay on in sex underwear for the cha cha cha! All the sexist ladies love Paco's Chevy Van of Love.
Foot Fetish Seeks Hot Girl In Clown Shoes/Frankenstein Monster Boots - 35 (castro / upper market)
Reply to: mailto:pers-909954518@craigslist.org?subject=Foot%20Fetsh%20Seeks%20Hot%20Girl%20In%20Clown%20Shoes/Frankenstein%20Monster%20Boots%20-%2035%20(castro%20/%20upper%20market) [?]Date: 2008-11-07, 1:57PM PST
Well hold the phone, Jimmy! It's one a them Craig's list personal ads! WOOOOO WEEEEE! Damn this is great! I gots my own personal ad! Just like on television...or in the movies...when they post personal ads! Like that movie about some hairy girl named Sally...maybe she went on the Craig's list to get some guy with a hairy woman fetish! Me I like them big ole Frankenstein shoes! I like a hottie in them Herman Munster shoes walkin' around all sexy and shit! WOOOOOOO WEEEEEE! Or a hot babe in clown shoes...squeezing a bicycle horn and wearing a red clown nose! Man that's hot! WOOOOOO WEEEEEEE!!!! Maybe a nice rocker girl in KISS boots with dragons on 'em! WOOOOOO WEEEEEEEEE!!!
Discreet Alien Gentleman Seeks Sexy Lady To Re-Populate Planet - 106 (haight ashbury)
Reply to: mailto:pers-910159286@craigslist.org?subject=Discreet%20Alien%20Gentleman%20Seeks%20Sexy%20Lady%20To%20Re-Populate%20Planet%20-%20106%20(haight%20ashbury) [?]Date: 2008-11-07, 4:44PM PST
Greeting sexy ladies of planet Earth. I am Zordock 12 of the Grablock Nebula. I seek a naughty,naked nympho with an open mind for an intergalactic breeding arrangement...and when I say open mind...I mean REALLY open. Our breeding methods may frighten the people of Earth, but I assure you, once we get into the swing of things, as you Earth people like to say...you will quite enjoy getting your freak on with Zordock 12. I am considered quite good looking on my home planet...but might frighten the sexy Earth Ladies if they are not prepared for my "stats"
Nine feet ten inches tall 275 pounds of love
Green skin with yellow stripes
Glowing red eyes of passion
enormous private parts with soft spikes protruding
Purple hair.
sharp, black teeth.
I am not looking for a serious relationship...I only wish to re-populate my planet through breeding with a sexy Earth Lady with big bouncy Earth Boobs of delight. Lets hook up for some Revulkian ale and a passionate exchange of fluids
Weird Uncle Dickie Posts Bizarre Personal Ad About Nursing Breasts - 43 (noe valley)
Reply to: mailto:pers-910269718@craigslist.org?subject=Weird%20Uncle%20Dickie%20Posts%20Bizarre%20Personal%20Ad%20About%20Nursing%20Breasts%20-%2043%20(noe%20valley) [?]Date: 2008-11-07, 6:37PM PST
You'll have to excuse poor, Uncle Dickie ladies...he is not at all well...dementia as well as a breast fetish, you see...plus he's always just been rather creepy. Never could keep his sticky, bony hands to himself. Always pawing at boobies, breasts and ta-tas. Always did love melons, jugs and titays. Senility and a breast fixation have prompted him to dress up like Popeye The Sailor Man and post several ads about how he wants to "Gently Nurse You". He's always been the black sheep of the family...sometimes even dressing up in a black sheep costume to post his strange breast-related personal ads about suckin' hooters, gazongas and flubbery floppers. Once we even caught him dressed as Mae West sporting a pair of rubber Halloween prop breasts dancing about to the tunes of Whitesnake and had to sedate the poor fellow. It's sad really. We're not even certain how he keeps wriggling out of the leather wrist and ankle restraints attached to his bed frame in the damp attic. We were hoping the damp and mold would finally put an end to his suffering...but he seems all too resilient for such a frail son of a bitch. But not to worry...I have knocked him out cold with a marble ash tray tonight...so there won't be anymore boobie postings for the time it will take him to recover .
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