Dan West's Homemade Embalming Fluid: Rotten Pig Face Killer Rubber Halloween Mask

Monday, January 4, 2010

Rotten Pig Face Killer Rubber Halloween Mask

I think I'd like to wear this mask the next time I have sex. I'd also like my sexual partner to wear one...and then have my mother walk in on the two of us screaming obscenities in high-pitched Chinese accents. Just a thought.

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Welcome sexual ecstacy enthusiasts!

As we all know, the pimp game is a lonely game. One minute you're shaking hands with a famous astronaut, the next you're scrambling to collect enough oven mitts, cinnamon-flavored condoms and cherry wine for your vast stable of hoes to get them through the chilly winter months so that, come spring, they might burst forth from their cocoons as fully-developed mothmen. But the rash has finally subsided thanks to the testicle ointment and we've finally managed to wash all of the vomit out of Jackie's Mr. Spock mask.

Ug! Head spinning from much consumption of the white man's fire water!

Attention: Due to the sensitivity of our septic system, we ask visitors to please refrain from flushing ANY human body parts down the toilet.

Thanks, the management