About the only thing funnier than a really shitty Halloween mask is a truly crappy celebrity impersonator. I never tire of visiting the websites for these freaks. Most of them look nothing like the celebrities that they are supposedly impersonating, and the sites always include random oddball look-a-likes who's services should never be required for any reason whatsoever. The site that I am currently cackling like an idiot at (New York's UNIQUE Entertainment Corp.) has impersonators who will come to your parties and events to wow people with their thrilling impersonations of John McEnroe (?), Fabio, Dudley Moore (who looks absolutely nothing like Dudley Moore aside from the fact that he is wearing a top hat, like DM did in "Arthur", and its fabulous sequel, "Arthur 2 : On the Rocks"), Andrew Dice Clay, Spike Lee, Jim Croce (Who the fuck is going to need a Jim Croce impersonator, much less one that looks like Jim Croce if he was mentally disabled?), Rosa Parks (????), Damon Wayans....you know what really makes a party? Get that Damon Wayans impersonator! That cat's dynamite! , Henry Kissinger, Sigourney Weaver (who, again, doesn't look a goddamn thing like Sigourney Weaver), Angie Dickinson (WTF???) the list goes on and on. "Hey!" Your party goers will proclaim, "Do my eyes deceive me or is that Jim Croce having a spirited discussion with Damon Wayans and Angie Dickinson?...Hey look! It's Fred Sanford from 'Sanford and Son' faking a heart attack in front of Roseanne Barr and Mini Me! Rosa Parks just threw up on Joel Grey...Wow! What in the fuck is Joel Grey doing at this party???? Did he come with Fabio? Why is Joel Grey wearing his costume from 'Cabaret'? Is that George Burns, Bette Midler and Dr. Evil having group sex in the bathroom? Dr. Ruth and Jackie Gleason just offered me a line of blow! What a crazy party!" And yes, those really are impersonators that you can hire for your next party. Imagine the look on people's faces when they think you know Joel Grey!
They even have a Courtney Love impersonator, and the best thing that I can say about her impersonation is that I'd actually want to sleep with the impersonator, which means she doesn't look a bit like Courtney Love.
I'm having a party! I'd better phone up Connie Francis and George Foreman! Get me George C. Scott as 'Patton' on the line! Is Kramer available this evening? Hey, I know! Let's get Pee Wee Herman and Captain Quint from "Jaws" (now that one was the weirdest on the site).
What the fuck????
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