Sex Booty Space Ship?

My craigs list personal ads for this week really suck...

Kickin' It Wiff Da Playa In Da Toilet Room Wiff Da Sex Booty Spaceship - 38 (castro / upper market)
Reply to: mailto:pers-951632548@craigslist.org?subject=Kickin [?]Date: 2008-12-09, 2:05PM PST

Hello all of you sexy "hoes"...permit me to introduce myself. I am Reginald Wilkinson-Attwater, a distinguished, successful gentleman who favors the finer things in life :

1.) A phat booty

2.) Red Man Chewing Tobacco

3.) Country Club malt liquor

4.) Rolaids

5.) Amodium A.D.

6.) Fruit roll ups

7.) The International Male catalog

8.) A Velvet Led Zeppelin poster

9.) Gasoline

10.) A green bowler hat that says "Happy Saint Paddy's Day!

11.) silky clown pants

12.) A funky beat you can get down and boogie to

13.) leather underwear

14.) A ceramic mule mounted by a small Hispanic man in a sombrero

15.) Honey Nut Cheerios

16.) Sexual Ecstasy

17.) Booty lotion

18.) A Lord Of The Rings DVD box set with 5 hours of extras

19.) Titties

20.) A Jason Vorhees tattoo on a woman's ass

21.) A nice neck brace



Crazy man dressed in plastic armor proclaims he's "Trojan Man". - 39 (haight ashbury)
Reply to: mailto:pers-951770108@craigslist.org?subject=Crazy%20man%20dressed%20in%20plastic%20armor%20proclaims%20he [?]Date: 2008-12-09, 3:45PM PST


Gimpy was saddened by the loss of Grandma "Dynamite" Jackson, keeper of the vile secrets of Fu Manchu and ghost writer of the Jerry Lewis biography: "Nice Lady! Hoivin and the Shoilgelmin Things". Gimpy wished to entice the sexy ladies to share his bed by attempting to convince them he was a Hugh Hefner-like millionaire publisher, showing them "photos" from his magazine publication "The Boobytown Time Follies"...which was really only a Hanna Montanna coloring book with breasts and vaginas crudely scribbled over the pictures in purple crayon. Then he would offer them a glass of grape juice, saying it was a fine Merlot. Then Gimpy would remove his underpants and perform what he had titled "The weenie waggin' dancey-doo"

Man in Ballerina Dress seeks Woman in Nutcracker Costume to Bite Nuts - 37 (potrero hill)
Reply to: mailto:pers-951820393@craigslist.org?subject=Man%20in%20Balleria%20Dress%20seeks%20Woman%20in%20Nutcracker%20Costume%20to%20Bite%20Nuts%20-%2037%20(potrero%20hill) [?]Date: 2008-12-09, 4:26PM PST


Oh lordy lordy! Sambooki's had another juggling mishap! That makes a total of twelve dead infants now! It's a tragedy of epic proportions...like the time we tried to turn that homeless guy into a werewolf by crazy gluing hair all over his body! Oh holy cow! What will Grampa think? We didn't even get him his magic top hat from the cellar...the one filled with colorful condoms and dirty playing cards...I just couldn't bare to try to get passed Grandma....ever since we've chained her down there she's be truly nasty...yesterday she tried to trick me by wearing a Charlie Chaplin costume...then she attacked...just when I was going to ask for her autograph! She beat me about the face and head with her bamboo cane and tried to force me to eat her false moustache

Attention Ladies! It's Captain Jiggles The Government Boob Inspector! - 37 (portola district)
Reply to: mailto:pers-951843599@craigslist.org?subject=Attention%20Ladies!%20It [?]Date: 2008-12-09, 4:45PM PST


Howdy Partner! Lets begin with my requirements for the evening shall we?



1.) A panty-droppin'good time!

2.) Boob jugglin'

3.) Butt kissin' and squeezin'

4.) A shreddin' guitar lick

5.) Humpin' N Bumpin'

6.) Ominous Pipe Organ Music

7.) A Bowl of tasty skittles

8.) A DVD of "The New Adventures of Pippy Longstockings"

9.) A Ron Howard mask

10.) Ice tongs

11.) A shitload of condoms

12.)A "Disco Duck" t-shirt

13.) Four changes of underwear

14.) Mint Jelly

15.) a first aid kit