Okay, so I couldn't resist...I even lost a good one about a man creating "Sex Juice" out of malt liquor and shampoo who rode around in a limousine made out of a refrigerator box and stolen tricycles... his true love Becky turned out not only to be a man but an amateur feather weight boxer to boot. It was a work of pure genius and now it is gone with the wind. Anyway, no use crying over spilled Sex Juice...who knew I could even keep thinking stupid shit up to annoy people with for my own amusement?...More Craig's List personal posts.
Frail, Geriatric Doll Maker Creates Hot Young Sex Toy - 96 (downtown / civic / van ness)
Reply to: mailto:pers-1013152222@craigslist.org?subject=Frail,%20Geriatric%20Doll%20Maker%20Creates%20Hot%20Young%20Sex%20Toy%20-%2096%20(downtown%20/%20civic%20/%20van%20ness) [?]Date: 2009-01-29, 3:52PM PST
Must you slather so much mayonnaise on the dog? Always with a hand full of mayonnaise...at least I hope to God that's mayonnaise! Good Gravy! Little Jimmy's gone and swallowed Uncle Rolo's dentures again...this time I hope the little bastard chokes on 'em...him and that stupid Jimmy Carter impression. Who the Hell does a Jimmy Carter impression these days? It isn't even politically topical...especially for a little boy. I tell you there is something seriously askew with that child...like the doctors took out his brain and kicked it around the room a few times before they stuck it back in his thick, misshapen skull. Are these raisins in this carrot cake or cockroaches? Not that it matters...it tastes like shit anyway. Hand me granny's mustache wax Rothchild, I have to give her that jaunty roaring twenties look she likes so much.
Man In Rubber Cantinflas Mask Claims To Be Inspector Boobs Of Sex Squad - 37 (potrero hill)
Reply to: mailto:pers-1012987139@craigslist.org?subject=Man%20In%20Rubber%20Cantiflas%20Mask%20Claims%20To%20Be%20Inspector%20Boobs%20Of%20Sex%20Squad%20-%2037%20(potrero%20hill) [?]Date: 2009-01-29, 1:52PM PST
Who wants to eat a putrefied corpse infested with maggots? It isn't sanitary and just because Grandma does it doesn't mean that you have to be such a lemming...show a little backbone....pull one out of the cat and wave it around. I've created a new sandwich spread using paste, apricot schnapps and corn oil..I call it "What the hell is this shit?"...it doesn't taste very good but it's my own creation...I was attempting to play God...but I couldn't find the big bushy, white beard and wings....so instead I created a sandwich spread instead of two little naked people to have sex with each other and begin the race of human kind. Did you ever try to swallow an entire jar of raw sour kraut in one gulp? That shit is hard! You wouldn't think so looking at Grandma. That old bitch is a bottomless pit.
Danish Butter Manufacturer In Silk Thong Can't Believe It's Not Butter - 38 (haight ashbury)
Reply to: mailto:pers-1012923546@craigslist.org?subject=Danish%20Butter%20Manufacturer%20In%20Silk%20Thong%20Can [?]Date: 2009-01-29, 1:10PM PST
Hans Delbrook is stunned, as he stands amongst the assorted baked buns, that he has been duped by a non-dairy product that tastes exactly like butter. The butter that he would so lovingly rub about your buttocks with his rubber glove-clad hands. Hans is very sexy in his silky thong under pants...they show off his muscular buttocks and Shemp Howard tattoo. Hans wears a hat that he made out of cardboard...a funny red top hat with plastic eyeballs glued across its surface. Sometimes Hans wears a purple Afro wig and makes a high pitched squealing sound...a bit like a siren...but much worse. Hans would not only cover your buttocks with butter, but would also be willing to offer you a delicious T.V. dinner following your erotic butter massage. Perhaps even a tall glass of Tang or Ovaltine. Come...let Hans give you buttery pleasure. If you are lucky he will kiss you on the lips...with his lips, which are covered with melted chocolate.
Wild Sex Demon In Homemade Iron Man Costume Is Lookin' For Some Sex! - 37 (castro / upper market)Reply to: mailto:pers-1012961912@craigslist.org?subject=Wild%20Sex%20Demon%20In%20Homemade%20Iron%20Man%20Costume%20Is%20Lookin [?]Date: 2009-01-29, 1:35PM PST
Ricky Dynamite is a sexual locomotive! Ricky loves to get down with the ladies between his Star Wars bedsheets! Don't worry...they're clean...Ricky's mom changed them after his last wild tryst with that really hot chick that he was doing all of that sexual stuff too! You can call Ricky, "Mr. Dynamite"...or since Ricky is wearing his new homemade Iron Man costume, you can call him "Iron Man"! Ricky can eat and entire bag of Halloween candy in one sitting! Candy makes Ricky STRONG! Then Ricky runs around, hopped up on sugar until he eventually throws up. That's why the carpet in Ricky's bedroom is so sticky! Ricky can't wait to get you into his bedroom and do sexual things to you with his action figures!
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