Well the results of the second annual "Dan West Love Sexy Poll" are in, people! Your voices rang out loud and clear about your likes and dislikes and I must admit that I find the results to be very interesting. The people have spoken!
1.) Favorite brand of men's briefs to wear on your head like a ski mask: Fruit of the Loom (Congrats on their second win! Go Fruit!)
2.) Favorite thing to stare at while masturbating furiously : Internet porn (Also a second win, with Archie Comics running a close second! Watch out Internet! Archie's got your number!)
3.) Favorite thing to kill : Houseflies (Sorry homeless people, nice try! Psyche!)
4.) Favorite thing to light on fire : The elderly (It seems bags of dog shit just don't cut the mustard in this day and age)
5.) Favorite form of transportation into outer space : A rocket ship
6.) Favorite movie child murderer : Curt Duncan from "When A Stranger Calls" (1979) (sorry Freddy Krueger!)
7.) Favorite words to carve into flesh : "Satan's Whore!"
8.) Favorite racial slur : "Midget"
9.) The fictitious television character that you would most like to sodomize with a glass dildo : "Chachi" from "Happy Days" and its spin off "Joni Loves Chachi". (sorry "Screech"! The bell couldn't save you this time out!)
10.) Live animal that you would most like to put in your mouth : A sewer rat (no comment!)
Well, folks....you've had your say and I hope you all washed your hands afterward. Until next year, go fuck yourselves!
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