Friday, July 30, 2010

Hands Off The Jujyfruits, Fuckstick!


Dear diary,


In my efforts to create a gargantuan version of the puzzle video game Tetris (by employing the use of several dozen midgets wearing colorful boxes with holes cut out for their arms and legs) I have instead created what can only be described as a horrifying bloodbath.


Perhaps dropping them on top of one another from such great heights was not such a clever idea after all. I guess I just assumed that their smaller stature would make them more resilient for some weird reason. Is that racist? They weren't exactly willing participants either. Not one of them was easily coaxed into my horse-drawn wagon cage by my promises of lollipops and pastries. Maybe it was the top hat and the eye patch that put them off...or maybe it was the black cloak and phony hook stuffed into my coat sleeve. I was under the impression that all little people loved sweets...but in hindsight I'm not really certain where that idea came from. Maybe I saw it in a cartoon. In any case, now I've got a massive pile of dead little people to dispose of. Maybe I could take them to a taxidermist and use them to create a life-sized panorama of Munchkinland. At least that would work a lot better than my disastrous Tetris concept...and it's always good to recycle, after all.

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