Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Beware The Underwear Cobra!


Dear diary, It turns out that my Fun's-A-Poppin' Flea Circus kits WERE the source of that bubonic plague outbreak that nearly killed all of those children in the Midwest. This is worse than the time my line of "Halloween Zombie" grease paint turned out to contain traces of mercury. We simply can't trust Mexican child laborers to self-monitor these important quality control issues.


Also, the rubber skin on the Mr. Musclepull dolls has begun to tear and leaks out the syrup contained inside when excessively stretched. This is due to the poor quality of the rubber used in manufacturing. Should recall the dolls and repackage with the new brand name "The Sticky Larry Doll".


Received several irate phone calls today from something called the "Asian American Justice Center" claiming that our "Hummble Chinaman from Japan" action figure was racist and derogatory. I explained that that particular action figure was, in fact, manufactured by our "Chinese Labor Team" over seas and that if it was "racist" as they claimed, I believe the workers in "the land of the rising sun" would have told me so. They claimed that the land of the rising sun was Japan and not China and that I was a complete idiot. Looks like we'll have to change the name of the action figure to "Secret Asian Man!" to keep eveyone happy.


All for now

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