Okay team (and yes, this includes Jerry Thrumboll, the reluctant shithead who voted me out as team leader, (DUE TO THE FACT THAT HE FOUND MY METHODS "UNSOUND" AND "UNORTHODOX")..I've been doing some "brainstorming"...and here are some tentative "blueprints" to snag the "blue ribbon"..or trophy...or whatever the award is this year..
Ideas to "ponder/consider/create" :
1.) The Very Short Electric Camel
NEEDED :
1.) Two hired midgets/dwarfs willing to shove double A batteries up their asses for the duration of the Fair's judgment phase.
2.) Camel costume rented from prop house or costume rental agency
2 1/2.) Two, red, fez-style hats
3.) Cassette player
4.) Cassette tape of Ray Stevens' hilarious parody song "Ahab The A-rab"
Concept #2 :
The "Friends: Lost Porno Episode"
NEEDED:
1.) Three porn actresses who resemble Jennifer Aniston, Courtney Cox and Lisa Kudro
2.) Three porn actors to fill the roles of "Ross", "Joey" and "Chandler"...no one will give a shit if they look like the original actors as long as their hair isn't blond...but note : "Chandler" must have some sense of comic timing for the spoof to work properly.
3.) Laugh track on cassette tape
4.) Cassette player
5.) Cassette recording of royalty-free song reminiscent of "Friends" theme song that will not provoke a lawsuit.
Concept #3 :
The Ghost Detector (to be utilized in paranormal research)
NEEDED :
1.) White sheet with eye holes cut out (for safety)
2.) Some sort of device that makes a beeping sound when ghosts are near.
Concept #4 :
Naked Lady "Sex Time" clock
NEEDED :
1.) Inflatable sex doll (Female)
2.) Clock radio
3.) Masking tape
4.) Black sharpie marking pen
5.) Ability to tell time
Concept #5 :
Werewolf repellent
NEEDED :
1.) Rubber, Halloween werewolf mask
2.) Volunteer to test werewolf repellent in werewolf mask
3.) One can Raid insect repellent with the word "insect" crossed out and replaced with the word "werewolf".
3 1/2.) Bic lighter
4.) Crow bar in case werewolf repellent proves ineffective.
5.) Existing medical insurance for volunteer werewolf
Okay, team...that's my two cents...so let's go to work and make this the bestist science fair ever , you lazy, uninspired sacks of shit!
Ideas to "ponder/consider/create" :
1.) The Very Short Electric Camel
NEEDED :
1.) Two hired midgets/dwarfs willing to shove double A batteries up their asses for the duration of the Fair's judgment phase.
2.) Camel costume rented from prop house or costume rental agency
2 1/2.) Two, red, fez-style hats
3.) Cassette player
4.) Cassette tape of Ray Stevens' hilarious parody song "Ahab The A-rab"
Concept #2 :
The "Friends: Lost Porno Episode"
NEEDED:
1.) Three porn actresses who resemble Jennifer Aniston, Courtney Cox and Lisa Kudro
2.) Three porn actors to fill the roles of "Ross", "Joey" and "Chandler"...no one will give a shit if they look like the original actors as long as their hair isn't blond...but note : "Chandler" must have some sense of comic timing for the spoof to work properly.
3.) Laugh track on cassette tape
4.) Cassette player
5.) Cassette recording of royalty-free song reminiscent of "Friends" theme song that will not provoke a lawsuit.
Concept #3 :
The Ghost Detector (to be utilized in paranormal research)
NEEDED :
1.) White sheet with eye holes cut out (for safety)
2.) Some sort of device that makes a beeping sound when ghosts are near.
Concept #4 :
Naked Lady "Sex Time" clock
NEEDED :
1.) Inflatable sex doll (Female)
2.) Clock radio
3.) Masking tape
4.) Black sharpie marking pen
5.) Ability to tell time
Concept #5 :
Werewolf repellent
NEEDED :
1.) Rubber, Halloween werewolf mask
2.) Volunteer to test werewolf repellent in werewolf mask
3.) One can Raid insect repellent with the word "insect" crossed out and replaced with the word "werewolf".
3 1/2.) Bic lighter
4.) Crow bar in case werewolf repellent proves ineffective.
5.) Existing medical insurance for volunteer werewolf
Okay, team...that's my two cents...so let's go to work and make this the bestist science fair ever , you lazy, uninspired sacks of shit!
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