The Temptation Of Randolph's Private Parts

I have a dream. A vision if you will....to remake "The Muppet Movie". This time I would do it the correct way...with live actors instead of muppets. I would assemble my dream cast for the ultimate musical road movie. The songs would mostly be the same...as would the some of the plot. Only the characters would be drastically different...Kermit the frog and Fozzie Bear would be replaced by Steven Seagal and Jerry Lewis. Throughout their zany musical adventure they would meet the likes of Mal Arnold (Fuad Ramses, the murderous Egyptian Caterer from the gore masterpiece, "Blood Feast") and Ray Sager (Montag The Magican from the landmark splatterfest "The Wizard of Gore"), both men would reprise their infamous roles, slaughtering countless victims throughout the film. Also on board would be all surviving cast members of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" (1974) and director John Waters as a porn film producer. Cameos would include, P.J. Soles, Brad Dourif and Mink Stole. The film would be narrated by Jamie Lee Curtis in her monotone "Escape from New York" narrator voice. Dr. Teeth an the Electric Mayhem would be replaced by The Butthole Surfers and Ray Harryhausen would provide a brief Dynamation sequence in which the cast accidentally takes LSD and hallucinates that they are being attacked by skeletons. The "Godfather of Gore" Herschell Gordon Lewis would appear in a dream sequence as Count Dracula, and Jennifer Love Hewitt would appear for an extended nude scene. Tura Satana would also appear as an evil witch, out to destroy the muppets/weird ensemble cast. I'm also trying to work in a Pipi Longstockings subplot. I think this picture could be dynamite! ....here's the pathetic part...I'm not joking...that really would be my dream movie.