Ahhhhh, October 1st at last! My yearly month-long horror marathon can now begin. Tonight my very good friend Netflix has presented me with a Vincent Price double feature, "Theater Of Blood" and "Madhouse". I love Vincent Price. If I was a gay necrophile I would dig up his corpse and marry him. But thankfully I am neither gay nor a necrophile...wait, did that sound homophobic or just crazy?
But, nevermind Mr. Price for the time being, seeing as Halloween now approaches, I would like to bring up the monstrous beast known as The Jolly, Green Giant. As a small child, this terrifying, behemoth scared the living shit out of me. The deep chuckling "Ho Ho Ho" and his green skin and leafy hair I found to be the stuff of nightmares.
Something about how he always stood far off in the distance implied approaching doom and filled me with dread. I found him not jolly, but horrifying. His green skin and leaves for hair implied that he was not human, but some type of vegetable-spawned monster. It didn't help matters that, as I child, I detested vegetables of any kind.
He wasn't jolly and lovable to me...he was more like the hideous, green Gargantua from "War Of The Gargantuas". In fact, he still kind of gives me the creeps...off in the distance with his deep, booming laugh...he's probably laughing because he just ate some people...people who dared to eat his vegetable brethren.
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