My latest Craig's list personal posts...for the pervert in all of us.
Man Invents New Boob And Butt Polish! Seeks All-Female Test Group! - 38 (haight ashbury)
Reply to: mailto:pers-892111354@craigslist.org?subject=Man%20Invents%20New%20Boob%20And%20Butt%20Polish!%20Seeks%20All-Female%20Test%20Group!%20%20-%2038%20(haight%20ashbury) [?]Date: 2008-10-24, 1:17PM PDT
It's Sammy's brand new invention ladies! New Boob and Butt polish for the ladies! Let Sammy liberally apply my new polish to the aforementioned body parts for fantastic results! Shiny new boobs and buttocks can be yours today! It's what you sexy, saucy ladies have been waiting for! Ever since the stroke I've been getting wonderful new ideas such as this! Being a shut in can have its advantages too! Like thinking up great ideas like this one all day long! It keeps Sammy's mind off the painful bed sores and the catheter!
You, Me, Dinner, Wine, Dancing, A Midget, A Fake Beard, Toilet Paper - 42 (noe valley)
Reply to: mailto:pers-892130649@craigslist.org?subject=You,%20Me,%20Dinner,%20Wine,%20Dancing,%20A%20Midget,%20A%20Fake%20Beard,%20Toilet%20Paper%20-%2042%20(noe%20valley) [?]Date: 2008-10-24, 1:30PM PDT
Pass me my crutches would you Rothchild? I feel like the gout has let up enough that I might enjoy a sabbatical from this foot-related pain. Something sexual...involving several nude women and possibly several gallons of salad oil and a slip n' slide. Quick! Fetch my genie costume from the fruit cellar! And load up my cello case with the mummified infant inside! It's time for a little erotic adventure! Yes Rothchild! I shall tonight scale the heights of sexual ecstasy...fetch my truss and the adult diapers! Warm up the Model A! We have no time to lose! The naked women are out amongst the living! I shall seek them out for my pleasure!
Man With Pocket Full Of Condoms And Wedding Ring Seeks Date - 37 (castro / upper market)
Reply to: mailto:pers-892157645@craigslist.org?subject=Man%20With%20Pocket%20Full%20Of%20Condoms%20And%20Wedding%20Ring%20Seeks%20Date%20-%2037%20(castro%20/%20upper%20market) [?]Date: 2008-10-24, 1:48PM PDT
Hi all you beautiful ladies out there...boy, it's hard to type with such sweaty hands...my fingers keep slipping off of the keyboard. I'm so nervous because I know tonight's the night for love! My name is Jerry Johnson...and I am seeking that special lady for an adventure in Sexland! It's a place I made up in my brain...where there's lots of sex...even the roller coasters there have sex things on them...like breasts and the other lady parts. It's a fun place and it always has a big rainbow above it in the sky! But the rainbow is made of multi-colored condoms! If you come over to Jerry Johnson's house tonight...we can go to Sexland! Admission is free because in Sexland I'm kind of like Walt Disney...but not with cartoon characters...with ladies with big boobs!
Sexual Dynamo In Peter Pan Costume Spills Melted Ice Cream On Tights! - 37 (richmond / seacliff)
Reply to: mailto:pers-892176214@craigslist.org?subject=Sexual%20Dynamo%20In%20Peter%20Pan%20Costume%20Spills%20Melted%20Ice%20Cream%20On%20Tights!%20-%2037%20(richmond%20/%20seacliff) [?]Date: 2008-10-24, 2:01PM PDT
Well it's that time of year again, Ladies. Freddy Jackson needs some sexual healing and he wants all you sexy thangs to be his nurse! First we'll disrobe and climb into a bathtub filled with chocolate milk...then well rub egg salad into our hair and have a contest to see who does the best Arnold Stang impression. Then, once we have made our pointy, red hats, we'll put on the soundtrack to the Disney film, "The Gnome Mobile" and run in circles, screaming at the top of our lungs as if a giant is chasing us. Then I will cover you with melted Velveeta and lick you! Trust me...you won't get an offer like that from just anyone...that comes straight from Freddy Jackson himself.
Ronald McDonald Impersonator Orders Some "McSex" - 36 (downtown / civic / van ness)
Reply to: mailto:pers-892350393@craigslist.org?subject=Ronald%20McDonald%20Impersonator%20Orders%20Some%20%22McSex%22%20%20%20-%2036%20(downtown%20/%20civic%20/%20van%20ness) [?]Date: 2008-10-24, 4:19PM PDT
Then Jimmy donned his leather thong and dunce cap and began throwing feces at the windows of the church..it wasn't HIS feces. He found it in the hallway of his apartment building...next to the bloody clown costume and the wooden shoes spiked with nails...he figured someone sure must have had them self one hell of a good time! Now it was going to be Jimmy's turn! His Lee press-on nails were drying and ready to rip some flesh. Now if he could just get the rubber fist out of his butt he'd be good to go! Guess Pepto Bismal would have been a better choice to stop the diarrhea.
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