Who doesn't love a nice Zinger? Not a snappy joke....I mean the delicious snack cake from Dolly Madison. Ahhhh Dolly Madison....not only the inventor of the Zinger but also an American First Lady (1809-1817). Impressive!...Dolly Madison...the name sounds like something you might buy off a rack in a sex toy shop...so does "Zinger" for that matter...but we aren't here to discuss inflatable Dolly Madisons or the Zingers to probe them with...we are here, for better or worse, to discuss the rather odd birthday present you delivered to Gaylord Rothchild, III on his 40th...the big "4-O"....
Do you honestly believe that a partially-eaten, chocolate Martian wrapped in green tin foil was the wisest choice? And did you really have to swill 5, 40 ounce bottles of Country Club Malt Liquor in his "honor"? Your rapid decent into a drunken frenzy was nothing short of horrifying...the children will never recover...well, not unless someone invents a cure for death. Did you really have to kill the children? And no, to belatedly answer your question, we had never seen the movie, "When A Stranger Calls".
I'm afraid your "generous" offer of free banjo lessons is hardly going to smooth things over....your behavior was inexcusable...and the fact that you happened to be wearing a Creature From The Black Lagoon Costume at the time (for God knows what reason) does not make you unaccountable for your inebriated shenanigans!
You should be ashamed of yourself....if you were even capable of being such...which you obviously are not
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