Being one possessed of a single-minded sense of purpose, I toiled for years in the mayonaise mines of Wilkinson Hollow...hoping to strike a rich vein. Determined to find my fortune in rich, creamy pools of "white gold" I worked my fingers to the bone sun up to sundown....with my skeletonized hands I dug at the rocky earth, seeking the condiment of the gods....the stuff of which dreams are made...mayonaise!
during my trials and tribulations as a would-be mayonaise baron and full blown alcoholic, I did ponder certain thoughts that had been nagging me...like a mosquito buzzing in my ear:
1.) "Twinkie"...what a funny word
2.) Cleavage = Good
3.) A puppeteer is like God with little, fake, wooden people
4.) It must be fucking hot inside a bear costume
5.) Joe Besser sucked as one of the Three Stooges
6.) Why was there a griffin down in the caves in "The Golden Voyage Of Sinbad"?
7.) It would be cool to be Fu Manchu next Halloween
8.) I should of bought that DVD of "Werewolves On Wheels" for seven bucks.
9.) I always thought doing magic tricks was sort of gay
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