Friday, August 8, 2008

How do you say "Yo, Pookie!" in Yiddish?

Some things are just bad ideas. Like changing your name to "Gilligan McFuckhole", drinking lighter fluid or using your own feces as Pomade. Using dirt to make chocolate milk might also be added to that list, as well as trying to have anal intercourse with a ventriloquist dummy and putting a live scorpion in your mouth.

There are all sorts of unpleasant and idiotic things that one might do in a flight of retarded fancy. You might like to don a werewolf mask and frighten elderly people in a public park...or pull your teeth out with pliers and then replace them with candy corn....both are truly rotten ideas. Speaking of truly rotten, you might want to stop eating those Easter eggs you found in the backyard...when was the last time you actually remember hiding Easter eggs? Using Comet cleanser as a replacement for powdered sugar wasn't such a hot one...nor was making blueberry muffins with black widow spiders instead of blueberries.

You might want to consider leaving the Uncle Sam top hat at home before the next job interview...as well as the sparklers and Mr. Spock mask. All food for thought.

PCP does not make The Chinese New Year parade more fun...it makes it downright scary.

In short...look before you leap, people. I don't want to have to bring up these subjects again, as I figured most of them would have been fairly obvious.

yours truly,

Gilligan McFuckhole

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